Humble Pie

This is a great vegetarian version of cottage or shepherd’s pie, but made with seitan. This is my vegetarian son’s recipe, and he has requested that I not change the text.

Ingredients >  2 good onions >  4 largish carrots, or 5 smallish ones >  3-4 stalks of celery >  1 pack of minced seitan >  4 medium or 3 large potatoes >  ~50g margarine >  1 small pack tomato concentrate >  1 tsp Baharat >  1 tsp Paprika >  0.5 tsp Cumin >  salt and pepper >  some olive oil for cooking >  water >  Optional: a flat teaspoon of Marmite Equipment >  Big frying pan for the vegetables >  Medium pot to cook the potatoes >  Medium oven dish (I like single-use tin foil ones) >  Potato masher >  Fork, wooden spoon >  Chopping board and a good knife

Steps 1.   Peel the potatoes, and cut them into cubes. They don't need to be too small, but they should be more or less the same size. 2.   Put the potato cubes into the pot, add some salt and cover with water (about a cm above the potatoes), then put on the fire. 3.   Finely chop the onions. Remember to wash your hands before you wipe your eyes. 4.   Put some olive oil in the frying pan, put it on the fire and add the onions. 5.   Peel the carrots. Once the carrots are peeled, turn the flame down under the onions. 6.   Finely chop the carrots. I usually do half across the length, then 4 across the length of each half, and finely chop. Add the carrots to the onions in the pan. Stir things around a bit. 7.   Clean the celery, removing the wide bit at the bottom and the leaves at the top. 8.   Finely chop the celery, also into very small bits. All the fine chopping is so that people don't notice you're putting celery in their food. Everyone loves the taste of celery, they just don't like knowing it's there. Celery is the big trick in soup powder. 9.   Add the celery to the onions and carrots in the pan. Stir occasionally. 10. At some point, the potatoes will boil. When they do, turn down the flame underneath them. 11. Chop up the seitan so that it's in smaller bits and add it to the vegetable pan. Turn the heat back up and let it all fry a little. 12. Check the potatoes with a fork to see if they're ready. If they are, turn the flame off and leave them to sit there while you do more important things. 13. After a minute or two, turn the heat back down and add the spices, salt and pepper to the pan. Stir around for a little more, until they're all mixed in nicely. 14. At this point, the vegetable mixture may seem a bit dry. That's normal, and we'll add water in a minute. Add the tomato paste, and add the Marmite if you want to. Mix it in and add a little water. The mixture shouldn't be watery, but it should be a little sticky. 15. Let it sit on a low flame while you sort out the potatoes. Mix it occasionally and add some more water if needed. 16. Drain the water from the potatoes. Be careful, steam goes up. 17. Put the margarine in the pot with the potatoes and mash. Add salt and pepper and continue to mash until it's all nice and smooth. 18. Turn the flames off under the vegetables. 19. Taste the mashed potatoes and the contents of the pan (separately) to see if they need anything else. Fix if needed. If something is missing and you don't know what, it's either salt or tomato paste. 20. Pour the entire vegetable mixture into the oven dish. Even it out so that the top is flat, and there are no hills. 21.  Spoon the mashed potatoes over it, and even that layer out as well. 22. Put in the oven at about 200 degrees for about 25 minutes, until the top is a nice light brown. 21. Remove from the oven when done, and enjoy.